I don’t always have the answer. If you know me personally, you know how hard that declaration is for me. I almost always have the answer (or at least I claim to). Ever since the first grade I was quick to raise my hand and deliver an answer, even if it was the wrong one. I would get all red in the face and make little fists. My Teacher then spoke with my parents and asked them to work with me to understand it is “ok” to make mistakes and not always have the answer. My parents did this, and showed me instances where they had made mistakes (I remember my Mom had melted a rug in the dryer). It helped a bit, but I think I still struggle with it being “ok” not having the answer and having to rely on others and actually learn about the answers.
For someone who thirsted for knowledge, I didn’t much care for Science and Biology (two subjects I am glad my daughter loves in school). So imagine how much I struggle with wrapping my head around all of this science and technology that I am now forced to rely upon each and every day just to survive?! I don’t have the answers at all. I have found though, that I can trust qualified people who do know a whole lot more than I’ll ever know. My Wonderful Wife included.
I am truly grateful that we live in this time of social technologies and robust search tools. I have connected with peers, caregivers, and medical professionals on sites like Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and Linkedin. I am also grateful for my brilliant team of Doctors here in the Twin Cities that are (thankfully) a million times smarter about my heart and physiology than I am. I just hope they realize the peppering of questions I deliver, and constant communications is because I am truly trying to learn and expand my knowledge into areas I previously neglected, or rarely applied myself to. I also want to say “Thank You” to all of them, and the community of LVAD’ers online that are constantly sharing knowledge, information, tips, advice, support, and jokes too! This would be a much larger struggle and challenge without all of you!